2 Corinthians 4:8-9

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed."

So many feelings coursing through me now. One surprises me though: joy. I'm joyful today. I know it's not just happiness, because happiness is based on circumstances.
I wrote this today:
'Joy: not moody, not depressed, not "down in the dumps" or "long in the face'. Joyful. Where does this joy come from? Certainly not me. If it were up to me, this entry would be entirely different, wallowing in self-pity and dripping with angst (maybe even written in blood), but I'm not. I'm not overtaken with sadness. Why not? Why is the darkness not closing in? I mean, crying is necessary sometimes, but I feel like God reaches out and lovingly smacks me upside the head and says 'Enough'

Been dealing with feelings I really don't want or need to have right now, stuff back home, and schoolwork is, well, schoolwork. Times like this, in all honesty, I want to crawl under the covers and cry, but God won't let me have a pity party. He wants me to live life, and that's what I intend to do. Live this life He's given me, and lean so much on the Holy Spirit that I'd fall over if He wasn't holding me up. I have to. So, instead of retreating and disappearing from life, I'm going to go to class, take a shower, find a nice spot, and dig into the Word. Then, I'm going to study, work, have fun, listen to Jesus music, listen to Jesus, laugh with friends, watch movies, give an insane amount of hugs, cry every once in awhile, pray, worship, do homework, and everything else God has me do in my life. I am not my own. I am His.

{Miyah Faith}