Just Some Thoughts

"I have been a Christian for most of my life. But there are times-an uncomfortable frequency of times, to be honest-when I'm not entirely sure I believe in God."
-Jason Boyett

Doubts.

Good little Christians are not supposed to have them. We are afraid of them. We squash them like they're cockroaches scurrying across the floor of our soul. We worry they will bring down the property value of our faith.

I'll let you in on a not-so-little secret. I have doubts. I am probably one of the most skeptical Christians you will ever meet. I can tear down the intellectual arguments many Christians have for God so easily. I remember reading Lee Strobel's 'A Case for A Creator' at twelve and being so relieved to have scientific "proof" for what I believed. I also remember going through the same book when I was fourteen and disputing every argument raised in his book. What can I say? If you're a twelve year old reading books like 'War and Peace' byTolstoy and 'On the Origin of Species' by Darwin, the Bible begins to look......hokey.


1) What if our religion and our longing for God is just the way our brains are wired? Could spirituality just be the product of chemistry or electrical impulses?

2) What if the atheists are right, and faith is just a crutch we've developed to give life meaning and mitigate the prospect of death?
Is there any real difference between the ancient religious stories of Judeo-Christianity and the folklore of, say, Norse or Greek mythology? Or even the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

3) Why do some Christian focus so much energy on policing the culture and so little on producing it?

4)If some Christians really have the gift of healing people, why are they putting on big conferences--and making the sick people come to them--rather than hanging out in hospitals and nursing homes?

5) What if I had been born into another culture and practiced another religion with complete devotion, would God still allow me to be tortured for eternity in Hell? Even though I was pursuing him, but through the wrong religious system?

I could go on and on. I haven't asked any questions about HIV/AIDS, homosexuality, politics, the church's response to the environment, poverty, etc.... I haven't touched on the exclusivity of Christianity and why we sometimes have to explain away the verses that say Christ died to save everyone. I haven't listed everything. That list is too long. Maybe you've asked some of these questions too. Maybe you've hidden them behind raised arms and closed eyes.

So, where do I go from here? Not on any other subject is my academic intellect and passionate emotions seemingly so deeply pitted against each other. So, what is faith? Hiding my (very real) doubts just isn't feasible. I'm no expert on faith. Right now, faith looks like believing in God though my intellect and academia is telling me that a belief in God is foolish.

Just some thoughts,
{Miyah Faith}