dear me
when you wake up
and forget how to look at the world with warmth,
when it takes all of the energy you have
to turn off the alarm and open the blinds:
remember this.
when you forget to eat for days and push in your ribs ashamed,
when you look in the mirror
and see your stretches coming back,
the vitamins you take every morning,
the anxiety medicine in your purse
when you can’t fucking breathe
because you had that dream again
and you can’t fucking think straight
because there are too many people.
why are there so many people?
remember this.
when you can’t sleep and stare at the ceiling
playing your past like a projection lit by the glow of your phone,
when you feel like your wings were clipped
by a neighborhood before you could even spell the word,
when you’ve gone months without writing anything
and months of doctors appointments on your schedule:
remember this.
remember that you may still be young
but your bones have held you so strong
please don’t ever let them stop whispering,
please remember this:
you are stronger than this.
you deserve more than this.
you fought the war before it began
and you’ll celebrate the victory long before it’s over.
