I am alive and live in one of the most beautiful towns in Ohio. That mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between summer and winter is my favorite time of year. Chilly air, whistling wind, and rain that smells like memories.
Sometimes, I like to lie awake at night listening to the pitter-patter of raindrops on my roof. Sometimes, the sky is so clear that I can see the far blue edge of forever behind distant suns. Sometimes, I see little shooting stars out of the corner of my eyes like falling glitter. Sometimes, I think if we lived to be 200-300 years old, the clouds would spin a lot faster. Sometimes, I think the city is sucking away at my soul.
I used to wake up in the middle of the night and take photographs, pictures that represented the things I could never find the words to express. Often times I would wonder if the message was ever lost in translation.
I don’t think it is.
I think that is why I keep doing it.
I guess you could say I’m a dreamer. I like anything pretty, witty, or wise, and captivating and emotional art inspires me. I am 2/3 free and the 1/3 “unfree” part of me doesn’t even matter that much. I believe in magic and people and pinky promises, and I’m kind of in love with the whole wide world. I like flaws and feel more comfortable around people who have them. And when it comes down to it, I don’t want everything to add up to the perfect equation. I want mess and chaos. I want someone to go crazy out of his mind for me. I want to do something wild and reckless. I want to feel alive. I want a rich life, full of both hugs and kisses and kicks and punches. And I don’t really know where I’m going, but I hope I go far.
Get to know me. I am much more than just the heartache and cliché words on my blog.
Love,
{Miyah Faith}
Friday, September 30
Thursday, September 29
Musings of My Best Friend
These are just things my best friend has said/sent. ;-)
"You've got this wall around you, guarding you from everyone and everything. I want so badly for you to drop it and let me in. But you're not going to, I see that. So I'm gonna take it down myself. Don't think I won't. I'll use hammers and crowbars if I have to."
"You make me smile, so you can't be that bad."
"I'm worried that I'm never going to be where I want to be. That I'm gonna be stuck here, in this place, for the rest of my life. God, please don't let that happen."
"You make me smile, so you can't be that bad."
"Somedays, I just have to ask, Is following God always this hard?"
"Nothing makes sense to me anymore. But I think I'm starting to like it."
"I wanna know everything about you. The good, the bad, all the things in between. What you're ashamed of, what you're proud of, what you're scared of. The important things, the silly things. But you're not going to tell me are you? why not? Do you think it'll change what I feel for you? It won't."
"Sometimes two hearts just can't dance at the same beat."
"God has someone better in mind. I can't wait to meet the other half of the kookiest couple in the world. :-) Keep yo head up, girl."
"I don't pray for the easy stuff. I pray for the big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. I pray because I need help and I'm scared and I know I may be asking too much. I still pray, though, because He always answers."
"Be careful who you are when you're young because someday an old lady will take your place and your whole life will become her memories." {Gee thanks}
"You've got to look ahead to where you are going much more than always checking back from where you've been. If you spend too much time looking there, you'll probably crash."
"I've never had much to offer, most days I think I'm the most boring person ever. But I can offer you a hug when you're sad, a lame joke to try to cheer you up, bear hugs to warm your heart and so you know you mean the world to someone."
"You forced me to smile when I promised that I would never laugh again. So, do I hate you? No, I thank you because you got me on the right track again."
"The truth is it doesn't matter who I used to be, as long as today I'm someone brighter and better."
"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday."
"I just happen to think people are better off doing something they actually like."
"I know what you mean, even when i'm in an 'all people are morons' mood, cheesy love songs still make me feel better."
"You've got this wall around you, guarding you from everyone and everything. I want so badly for you to drop it and let me in. But you're not going to, I see that. So I'm gonna take it down myself. Don't think I won't. I'll use hammers and crowbars if I have to."
"You make me smile, so you can't be that bad."
"I'm worried that I'm never going to be where I want to be. That I'm gonna be stuck here, in this place, for the rest of my life. God, please don't let that happen."
"You make me smile, so you can't be that bad."
"Somedays, I just have to ask, Is following God always this hard?"
"Nothing makes sense to me anymore. But I think I'm starting to like it."
"I wanna know everything about you. The good, the bad, all the things in between. What you're ashamed of, what you're proud of, what you're scared of. The important things, the silly things. But you're not going to tell me are you? why not? Do you think it'll change what I feel for you? It won't."
"Sometimes two hearts just can't dance at the same beat."
"God has someone better in mind. I can't wait to meet the other half of the kookiest couple in the world. :-) Keep yo head up, girl."
"I don't pray for the easy stuff. I pray for the big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. I pray because I need help and I'm scared and I know I may be asking too much. I still pray, though, because He always answers."
"Be careful who you are when you're young because someday an old lady will take your place and your whole life will become her memories." {Gee thanks}
"You've got to look ahead to where you are going much more than always checking back from where you've been. If you spend too much time looking there, you'll probably crash."
"I've never had much to offer, most days I think I'm the most boring person ever. But I can offer you a hug when you're sad, a lame joke to try to cheer you up, bear hugs to warm your heart and so you know you mean the world to someone."
"You forced me to smile when I promised that I would never laugh again. So, do I hate you? No, I thank you because you got me on the right track again."
"The truth is it doesn't matter who I used to be, as long as today I'm someone brighter and better."
"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday."
"I just happen to think people are better off doing something they actually like."
"I know what you mean, even when i'm in an 'all people are morons' mood, cheesy love songs still make me feel better."
Psalm 118:24
"Joy is not the absence of suffering but the presence of God."
What keeps me from sadness? What keeps the demons of depression and helplessness from devouring and feasting on my soul? I know the church answer is Jesus, but sometimes I don't believe it. I turn to other things more often, more practical things in my mind.
Surround myself with people and hugs, watch Joss Whedon shows and John Hughes movies, drown my thoughts out with music, and bury all the feelings of sadness under a temporary avalanche of "happiness". Anything that injects an immediate dose of laughter into my veins becomes heroin.
Or I go the opposite direction. I isolate myself from people, shut down and don't talk, avoid things that make me "happy", read depressing quotes and write eulogies, and embrace the sadness wholeheartedly without sense. Neither of these help in the long-term, but they both offer immediate comfort.
God doesn't promise immediate comfort, so I'm tempted to just ignore Him when I'm sad. Immediate comfort leads to happiness, but God promises me joy. Joy and happiness are often touted as the same thing, but even their very essence is different.
Happiness looks like this-
1) My circumstances are good so
2) My life is good so
3) I'm good
It's entirely based on changeable circumstances.
Joy looks like this-
1) My circumstances are bad so
2) My life sucks BUT
3) GOD IS STILL GOOD so
4) I'm good
Joy is based entirely on the Unchangeable God.
{Miyah Faith}
What keeps me from sadness? What keeps the demons of depression and helplessness from devouring and feasting on my soul? I know the church answer is Jesus, but sometimes I don't believe it. I turn to other things more often, more practical things in my mind.
Surround myself with people and hugs, watch Joss Whedon shows and John Hughes movies, drown my thoughts out with music, and bury all the feelings of sadness under a temporary avalanche of "happiness". Anything that injects an immediate dose of laughter into my veins becomes heroin.
Or I go the opposite direction. I isolate myself from people, shut down and don't talk, avoid things that make me "happy", read depressing quotes and write eulogies, and embrace the sadness wholeheartedly without sense. Neither of these help in the long-term, but they both offer immediate comfort.
God doesn't promise immediate comfort, so I'm tempted to just ignore Him when I'm sad. Immediate comfort leads to happiness, but God promises me joy. Joy and happiness are often touted as the same thing, but even their very essence is different.
Happiness looks like this-
1) My circumstances are good so
2) My life is good so
3) I'm good
It's entirely based on changeable circumstances.
Joy looks like this-
1) My circumstances are bad so
2) My life sucks BUT
3) GOD IS STILL GOOD so
4) I'm good
Joy is based entirely on the Unchangeable God.
{Miyah Faith}
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